I’ve never been so happy to see the end of a year. 2019 was the continuation of a tough cycle for me personally, but 2020 was objectively terrible for literally everyone, and I’m glad it’s over. We lived through a pandemic. Some lived through unimaginable loss. I lived through a divorce, losing a much-longed-for adoption, turning 50, buying my first apartment, and eight months in Canada looking after my mom through cancer treatment before selling her home and moving her to a retirement home to be properly supported by people much better qualified than me (she’s doing well!).
It’s been a lot.
I spent this New Year’s Eve in my own apartment back in Iceland, reading through my journals from the past year to see how far I’ve progressed. I’m not sure about progress, but I did find some common themes - a big focus on Healing with a capital H and working really hard to become a Better Person™. Lots of affirmations, intentions and goals, none of which I actually accomplished.
But I could also see that I wasn’t as lost or broken as I thought I was all that time. I saw resilience and fortitude. Compassion and forgiveness. Gratitude and bounce-back and “today is a new day”. And I was pleasantly surprised.
Today is a new day. For today at least, I’m going to resist setting a bunch of goals or intentions or making plans or promises. I’ll just try to be and do the best I can - one thing at a time, one day at time - and let that take me where I need to go.
The photo accompanying this post is of the first project I picked up, let alone finished, in a year. It’s not perfect (I’m not sure I even like them!) and I might never write the pattern, but that’s OK. It just felt good to hold a hook again, a bit like coming back to myself. I have many more projects and patterns on the back burner to pick up again this year - one thing at a time, one day at a time.
Here’s to coming back to ourselves in 2021.